2002-03-12

aaaah....I have just returned from the beach. Its into autumn, but I still manage to feel it is warm enough to swim. And I love the obvious medicinal values of swimming - before i went I had a stiff neck and sore back from computer time. By the end of my walk/swim routine I felt ready to run, jump and play!

Lately I have been enjoying Nobby's Beach again, rather than the baths, as the sea has not been very big lately. Today, as I approached the beach I was made to cackle. Made to cackle by the fella who was sitting in his car, probably enjoying a lunch break, with the window open reading the paper. This fellow was parked below a light pole, upon which sat a large sea bird, one that is not known to me. Next thing, this torrent of white spray comes in the guys window all over his car. Yes, the big sea bird had done a big sea bird poo and it went on his window and all over the fancy sedan's paintwork. He jumped, horrified by the bird poo.

I started with my customary walk to the end of the beach, which is my favourite part. Right up the northern end of Nobby's there is this kind of right-angle, where the beach curves around. The waves, trying to go instraight lines, crash into each other, to quite dramatic effect. I also like this less populated end of the beach becuase its a locals-only type surfing area. They surf way out to sea past the rocky 'reef' that sits close to the point. Or they surf waves that end up in the rock wall, bailing out before they are smashed against to wall. All the best surf spots are around Nobby's, but in obscure sections of the beach.

Today the water was clear as clear. And it had that aquamarine quality where you think you are somewhere far more glamorous than Newie. Like the Whitsundays...ha! No I think I'd rather imagine somewhere more isolated and less CONSTRUCTED. Today, as I returned to the swimming part of the beach after my walk, I spotted that the southern end had some very nice rock pools happening. And that it was perfect to swim in, like a little tropical lagoon. It was especially good since the surf was a bit choppy and no fun for mellow swimming. I got to swim with lots of fish, and the water was stupidly warm. I can't understand why everyone isn't out there, but thank goodness they are not I suppose.

After swimming, I walked back around the promenade, towards the ocean baths, to get to the car. Pretty at peace...

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My birthday was last Friday, and I was 29. "Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, I've just turned 29 fuck that's almost 30!" Yeh, funny song, but I don't really care about getting older.

I woke up on my birthday with too much to do. I spent a couple of hours in the Octapod with Praccus learning how to install and configure APACHe 1.3.2 and then whack PHP in over the top of it. Its pretty easy, and was nice to learn about configuration of the server, cuz usually geeks keep that kind of info very close to their chests. Maybe it makes them feel superior - "No! Ye shall not have the knowledge of the network server! For then I will have no unique qualities that give me power over you. Gah!"

Then I went ot treat myself lunch and had an ordinary vege burger at my favourite cafe. As usual, I had no cash on me when I went to pay the bill. It has happened to me at least 3 times in that cafe, so much that I am starting to worry that my friends think I deliberately come with no money so they can pay for me. Eh, luckily I'm cute, smile nice and that there is an ATM across the road. Phew!

Then I drove out to Nadia's for a cuppa. She had called me that morning to let me know she and Aliya, her 2 year old, had made me a birthday cake. Hooray!! See, thing about my birthday is, I enjoy it. And it makes it more fun when people make a fuss of me. What I mean is I rarely say "Oh you shouldn't have", cuz if they have, bring it on!! So I had a cuppa with Nadia, Murray and Rowan and played with the kids (Aliyah and her little twin sisters Elka and Rani) for awhile. When it was cake time, they lit a candle on the cake. The fricken candle, once lit, starts playing the tune of Happy Birthday like so many annoying Christmas cards. This amazed me.

After that it was home to rehearse for my solo set as Laura Panic that night. I was to play at 10pm as part of the International Womens Day event, that my band were also playing. But solo is so hard, and scary and alone. Well, I had done solo shows before, but always somewhat on familiar turf. This one was to be in front of people I didn't really know who may not 'get' what I was doing. I stand up with electric (rather than sit down with an acoustic) and play very rudimentary songs with passion. I'm not much chop as a guitar player - lots of bar chords and sincerity.

Dame made me a very nice skirt for my birthday that illicited a lot of comments. Its very nice..

Lisa, my olde pal from Sydney via London and now Windsor, and Wilton, just ye olde pal, both came up to see me. Yay! Lisa gave me this cool pillow that she had sewn onto. It had a picture of me with a guitar on it! Fuck 'n ay! Then to top that off, Wilton had bought me a Newcatle KNights Tshirt. Cool! I was soooo set.

Went to the gig and had to play almost immmediately. The stage crew were very insistent, letting me know "Oh, this is their 3rd last song. You're on next" and then "They have two songs to go...are you ready?" I nodded. A bit later "OK this is the last one, get yourself ready" Bad for keeping me calm is giving me some kind of wierd countdown. I was platying on my own, would take 3 mins to set up - what was the urgent rushy rush? Its not like I was gonna get up there and then piss off for 15mins before playing. I'm sure they were just being careful...

I'd been rehearsing for days almost non-stop, yet I was nervous as shit.

On I went. The crowd was warmed up by my comedy stylings based around the body pimple ads on TV, making them receptive to my crunchy riffing chord style. It would have been OK except for that my leg would not stop shaking, like I had some rock and roll tic affecting me. No matter what I did, it quivered its own rhythm. Oh, and my voice also took its own special pitch. Like out of tune. Sigh...the first song I did was "Endtime Relay" by Team Dresch. Whack notes of nervousness, even though I've been playing that song for about 5 years. Then I tackled "Thats The Way" by JBD which was meant to be the best song of my set, but I hit so many bum notes. At this point I felt stupid and felt the whole audience must be wondering why the organisers gave me a spot. "Is she meant to be entertaining us?" I could almost hear inthe air. The next song was an old Purr song "Girly Things" which sounded OK - I think I was relaxing. The next one to play was the Bitchcraft ballad "Casual Bombshell" - I think this one went well. My voice was being normal, going where I wanted it to, rather than defying me, mocking me, showing me up to a crowd. I hope the girls in my band liked that one.

To finish I ripped out "Rebel Girl" by Bikini Kill, cuz I wanted to end on a inspiratoinal tone for International Womens Day. "Are there any riot ladies inthe audience?" I asked. There were some excited replies (including some decidedly male ones) so I was bolstered as I ripped into it and it went off well.

Bitchcraft played later in the night, all went well. We impressed our friends with our two new songs "Leave Me the Fuck Alone" and "Coppin' It".