2003-05-06

Well, the natural sedatives no longer work, but I knew that would happen. One does build up resistance to natural products, and I have no real desire to use pharamceutical sedatives.

Now, when the withdrawal kicks in, I've just gotta keep really busy to avoid freaking out. Today, I started by cleaning the bathroom, but then it got weird. The door frames in my house are much cleaner now, as are the door handles and all my light switches. The very cheap paint in my rental house doesn't clean very well...owners are a bit thick like that. They use cheap paint which can't be cleaned. So when it gets dirty you can't clean it, so you get in trouble from the landlord. Its a way for them to trap us, for sure.

And a nice sideline of all this manic cleaning is that my lease is up, and I have asked to have it renewed. I imagine this will prompt an inspection, so I will be good and prepared with an ultra-clean home...I just can't help getting nervous when leases run out. If I have to move now it will do very, very bad things to my brain. I will do very, very bad things. Very, very bad things will happen. But hey! Let's hope I get another 6month lease...

Well, its 7pm and now I am allowed to relax...