2004-05-21

Well, well, well, how we change…

Its pretty amazing how much one changes with age, or different environment. I have been affected by both of these factors - now I am over 30 and have moved (almost four years ago) to Newcastle from Sydney’s comfortable art-fag enclaves. These factors have meant a change in outlook (experience with age), different social set (social demographics dictate it to be so) and increased attachment to the local community (Sydney - large cities in general - make it difficult to find the space in your mind to think about the welfare of others as you are too frantic looking out for your own).

I have been changed in really basic, primal ways…

I have removed hair from my body for the first time. Those who have followed my writing for years, especially in print form, will know I have been pretty vehemently anti-hair removal. My stance had been based on the debasing of women, the fact that it makes no sense to remove hair other than because of the desires of dudes. Sigh, I now want to please a dude and like the results of pleasing him. But I could care less whether I have hair or not, still. It’s not at all natural to remove hair, but it IS natural to want to please your lover.

I like scarves. Silky ones.

I am keen to have a kid. Throughout my twenties, I swore off kids and birth, thinking I would probably foster or adopt. But, sheeee-it, I want to have my own. But only with someone else. I am not keen to have a baby for the sake of it, but rather want to share it with someone else. God, it sounds so mainstream, man. I am ready to get knocked up!

{{in fact I am becoming quite kid-centric. I ask women about their babies at any given opportunity, fall in love with any kid crossing my path, think about how I will support a little family…}}

I’d kinda like boobs. But only kinda.

I lament the lines appearing on my face.