2003-02-16

I've had a lot of talk about mothers and mothering today, in some very different lights.

Around lunchtime, I was talking to a friend who was feeling pretty down. Her mother was a bit of a dog-whore to her, and to this day refuses to admit there is/was anything wrong. This send my friend a bit mental and she gets very angry and depressed, all the time. Its pretty impossible to know how to help, as I amnot able to convince her that its not *her* problem but her mother's. And that she should try to enjoy her life rather than contemplating this state of affairs ad nauseum - it no good for the soul and its pretty much killing her off in front of me.

At 3pm I went to CC's for cups of tea and talk of my day with her work for the dole group. Instead we got chatting about Nod's twins and how amazing her kids are and how amazing a mother she is. Most parent's, and this is how I would have been had I not seen Nods in action, give their kids little activities to keep them quiet and out of the way so Mummy and Dadddy can do their grown up things as if they hadn;t really had kids. Nods plays with her kids, painting, dancing, singing, reading - the lot - and I think it willreally show as her kids grow up. Now, I would not want to be a parent until I could also give 100% like she does.

We spoke of another mum we know, who is also very focused on her child. What the little tacker says is so important and definitly worth hearing, and its really actually fun to hang out and play with him.

This evening I rang my Mum, who lives in Wellington (NSW, not NZ) and she was enjoying a rest in front of the cricket. I was glad to hear she was taking it easy, as she often sounds so fatigued and tired from her work as a secondary school teacher. She doesn't just teach these kids at shcool, she takes them to Dubbo for shopping trips, has slumber parties at her house for Yr 10 girls, has various little kids staying with her for weeks on end to give their Mum/Nanna/Aunt a bit of a break and helps run the local riding school for disable kids. And plays squash. HARD. I think that must be her release! I told her my good news.

My good news is that I am down to the last 3 people up a particular position at work that basically grants one person $50,000 to travel around finding out about how other people are doing 'flexible learning' and bring back good info and systems ideas to the Institute. The great part is, its not the sort of thing casual staff are usually considered for and I am casual staff. I mean, they dont usually want to spend that much cash on someone who isn't even permanenetly employed with them. So it's quite a coup. Tmorrow I find out if I have been successful...

But first, in the a.m I have two hours with a group of men doing work for the dole. I will be giving them a tutorial on better web searching and interactive stuff on the internet, like Flash, sound, video, chat etc.